How Can Men Stop Acting Out on Anger?

Anger in men is often viewed as masculine. It is seen as ‘manly’ when a man engages in fistfights or acts out their anger in a physical way. Traditionally, men are taught to be strong, and revealing their feelings is not meant to be a sign of strength, rather a sign of weakness. A lot of men consider crying a feminine characteristic and would be ashamed to cry or be found crying. So what emotion is left for these men to express their feelings? Sometimes, anger can be the only way for them to let it all out, without feeling like less of a man.

Different Forms Of Anger

Anger comes in a range from slight annoyance to rage. It is not just differences in the strength of angry feelings, but also in the kind of anger felt. For example, ‘indignation’ is a self righteous anger, while ‘exasperation’ is when an individual’s patience has been tried to excess. Revenge is angry action taken after a period of reflection about the offense. ‘Outrage’ on the other hand can be viewed as an appropriate and healthy expression of dissatisfaction. But ‘enraged’ can lead to unhealthy and damaging consequences. But what about the individual who gets angry on impulse. A lot of those individuals are usually men who have strong opinions and can sometimes throw a Type A tantrum.

Why Do Men Get Angry

  1. Stress – The number one reason behind men getting angry is stress. Men and women express stress differently. Women tend to feel sad and depressed. Men however can often act out their stress and become irritable and angry. They externalize their pain and typically blame the women in their lives.
  2. Hurt – Most men feel angry because they are deeply wounded. It can help them if they have someone who will listen to their anger with love and understanding. If the man is able to share his pain, he will be able to heal.
  3. Shame – Men react more violently to shame than women do. They tend to deny their experience of shame and hide it behind anger.

Strategies For Defusing Anger

  1. Exercise – Physical exercise, whether in the gym or recreation in the form of sports or martial arts can be very helpful to release pent up frustration or dissipate the build up of anxiety.
  2. Nature – Taking a long walk around the neighborhood or a hike in the hills can be very nurturing.
  3. Mindful Meditation – Meditating can reduce stress and can help the individual feel more loving and grateful.
  4. Cognitive Restructuring – This pretty much means ‘get over yourself’. When an individual amplifies their inner voice of reason and sees the big picture they can talk themselves down.
  5. Communication – Putting thoughts down on paper can be a very good way for the individual to figure out why they are upset and how to handle it without lashing out in anger.

Our philosophy at The Villa is to provide each client with an all encompassing path to recovery. We aim to provide a calming and supportive environment to fight addiction and dependence. Contact us to find out how you can start your journey to sober living.