Should I leave the Addict in My Life

Should I Leave the Addict in My Life?

Addiction can destroy relationships in the blink of an eye. Figuring out when to leave can be difficult as a loved one struggles with addiction. Learn to find a way to let go of fear and make the most healthy move possible.


Relationship Exhaustion

Dreaming about a new relationship with a person who is not addicted to drugs or alcohol may signal the possibility of letting go. Some of the following common thoughts may indicate it is time to move forward, away from the individual with addiction:

  • Being scared to leave in case the person gets really sick, becomes homeless or dies
  • Fear of leaving because the person might move on without them
  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear of never loving another person the same way
  • Fear of telling friends and family how bad things really are


The most common word which comes up, fear, indicates it may be difficult to let go but pushing through this emotion can help a person ultimately let go of what is not healthy or life giving.


Where Fear Comes From

Typically, the fear of letting go is so strong it is easier to stay than leave. Fear of watching a loved one’s life fall apart without the support of an intimate partner can keep the relationship going longer than it should. It is not healthy to place blame on the self for another’s addictive behaviors or mistreatment of others. The reality is a person with addiction can live without another person enabling the behavior, even if it is hard to watch the individual move on. Gaining perspective on respective roles in a relationship can help people alleviate fear of what’s next.


Let Go and Embrace Change

Fear of letting go can be greater than the actual event itself. The ups and downs of dealing with a person with active addiction may create cycles of elation and depression. Fear can be a great symptom of a deeper problem which is unjustified in the present situation. Life does not end when a relationship with a person with addiction ends, it just begins again. Life beyond the relationship can be healthy and vibrant if given the chance to exist.


Fear Dissipates with Time

Once an individual decides to leave a person with addiction, personal issues start to rise to the surface. Fear goes away over time which makes letting go easier. When a person is no longer afraid to take ownership of the relationship, fear subsides about what the other person will do. It is naturally difficult to let go of a loved one but fear of doing something different should not keep a person trapped. Reach out to a therapist, friend, loved one, confidante or other trusted individual for support and decide what the best next steps are going to be for the individual situation.


If you feel trapped in a relationship with a person who has addiction and need support, call The Villa. We can help guide you through some next steps in order to best support the loved one with addiction to receive help.